Confidence is one of those catch 22 situations where if we don’t have it we can’t see how to get it.
The thing is, we are all never ‘all confident’ or all ‘not confident’. However when faced with a situation that makes us feel ‘not confident’ we seem to acquire amnesia regarding the times when we were confident.
There are a number of ways that you can create a confident mindset First and foremost, it is essential to acknowledge that everything begins with a thought.
Let’s talk about how thoughts and potatoes.
A thought on its own is quite innocent really. It’s like a potato. A potato is pretty inoffensive on its own
But then you decide the fate of the potato. Think of all the possibilities that potato has.
Chips, roast, jacket, fries, dauphinoise, boiled, what seasoning can you add to make it extra special?
How does this relate to a thought? Our thoughts are pretty inoffensive when they occur. We then decide their fate
We observe a situation and apply meaning to the thought we have about it.
For example a loved one is late meeting you at a restaurant – that can mean many things…. and so we apply our own meaning to it.
Late = been in a car accident and is bleeding to death
Late = must be seeing someone else
Late = no respect for me, they don’t love me
Late = they’ll get here soon enough
Late = probably stuck on a train/traffic
The meaning we apply then influence the FEELINGS we attach to the event and we can create all sorts of physical and emotional responses from the meaning we apply.
Think about what conclusions you’ve jumped to in the past that resulted in physical and emotional responses – heart racing, sweating, these muscles, crying, compounded negative thoughts and so on.
This all then leads to an outcome. Anger, worry, fear, insecurity- you get the picture?
So the thought, like a potatoe. It doesn’t do anything until we decide what should happen with it. Make sense?
You are the master of your fate when you decide what meaning you will apply to your thoughts.
‘Hang on’, I hear you say, ‘it’s not the easy to just choose a new meaning’ to apply to my thoughts.
Well it is and it isn’t. The reason you create the meaning you currently create is because you are able to link a certain situation to a previous situation.
So, again using the example of a loved one being late, your brain works little like this:
‘Ok we have a situation here, where have we experienced this before and what does it mean?’
Your brain goes ‘ahhh! Yes! this is just like the other time I KNOW what this means’.
And that is how we create meaning.
Sometimes we are faced with a new situation for which we have no reference point from the past.
Think about those times when you say ‘wow, I don’t know what to make of this’ In these cases we have to create new meaning.
So what if you decided to choose new responses to old situations?
What if you decide right now that your past doesn’t need to define your future anymore?
What if for those times when you feel ‘not confident’ you chose to remind yourself of all the times you’ve been confident?
What if every thought that does not serve you well could be rebranded onto something else ?
What if the possibilities for creating a new reality exist the moment you choose meaning to apply to your thoughts?
So here’s some things you can test on the way to rebrand your thoughts.
1. When you need to create confidence in am instant take yourself back in your mind’s eye to a time when you felt confident. (if you have never felt confident you can make it up)
Assume the posture of confidence, the facial expression, the thoughts and breathing of confidence and allow those feelings to come back fully and take over every cell of your body. Think the thoughts of confidence.
2. ‘Borrow’ someone else’s confident presence. Notice how they walk, talk, sit or stand and copy that until you feel it.
3. Send a message to someone who adores you and ask them to tell you 5 things about you that they love. Allow yourself to immerse yourself on their comments.
4. Put on music that lifts your spirits and let those happy vibes flow.
5. Watch your language! Your words create your reality. Choose empowering words over ‘I can’t do that’ & ‘I’m not confident’.
Choose ‘I got this’ or “Let’s give it a go’. Find your own powerful words.
You are not your thoughts. Your thoughts can be rebranded to mean something else. You can create new meaning and new outcomes.
No one is confident at everything and anything new requires practice. Call on the confidence you’ve known before to help you
Watch your language as it defines your experience in life.
And finally, remember that thoughts are like potatoes and they mean nothing until you decide what to do with them.