LEARNING WITH LOVE

 

Today is my 14th wedding anniversary! Time doesn’t stop for anyone…

I love Andy more than anything else in the world and I’m beyond proud of how at much we work on our marriage, learn, grow and love unconditionally – TOGETHER.

If there’s anything we’ve learned in our 17 years together, it’s that we’re certainly not perfect and we’ve got to be patient with our imperfections.

So, I’ve decided to share with you what 14 years of marriage has taught me…

#1. Be the best version of you…

When you want to impress someone in life or business, you bring out your best self – agree? Be that person! The day-to-day stresses and strains of ‘a bad day’ make it very easy for you to take this out on those closest. Replace this with GRATITUDE and make the effort to bring the JOY to time you have together.  

#2. Create and make time for each other…

Make sure that you’re making QUALITY TIME for each other so that you both feel valued and important. Leave your phone at home (or don’t be distracted by it) when you are dedicating time to each other.  

#3. Be seen and be heard…

Ever had conversations and not heard what was being said as you were concentrating on something else more important? STOP!

The more you SEE the person in front of you and you listen to hear what they are saying, you’ll become much more present for your spouse and they’ll feel that you’re actually interested in THEM.

#4. Choose happiness…

You will get frustrated with each other. It will be hard. You will disagree. That’s okay. Choose happiness despite hardship. Choosing happiness doesn’t mean things are always good. Choosing happiness means you choose to learn new ways of making it work and creating a better life especially during challenges.

#5. Trust…

Trust is a vital part of your marriage. With it, there is freedom and security to enjoy what your relationship has to offer. Without it, there is fear and insecurity, dampening and limiting what you can bring to your time together.

Trust that your spouse is with you because they WANT to be with you and have faith in the person you’re with. Love them completely and let them love you.

#6. Keep learning…

If anyone tells you they’ve been married for 14 years and not had a disagreement, they’re lying!

You will disagree and that’s normal. Don’t make tough conversations about conflict, learn how to best approach and respond to these tough conversations and opinions.  Learn how to recover from a disagreement and learn to let it go!

Learn how to put it in the ‘fu*k it’ bucket.

#7. Bring the joy…

Have fun together and laugh! Enjoy the time you spend with each other. Don’t ever stop making each other smile and feeling loved.

#8. Make a choice…

You have a choice in everything you do and how you react. Make the right choices

You can choose to remain calm and have a sensible conversation or you can choose to fly off the handle – your choice’s will have a huge impact on the outcome. Choose wisely.

#9. Work as a team…

‘Us’ not ‘Me’. Be a team. Teams are infinitely more resilient than individuals trying to just ‘coexist’. The moment realise that you’re on the same team, things become much easier. TOGETHER you will achieve more and the positive feelings grow freely when you work together successfully. Remember: it’s not a competition.

#10. Bring out the best in your spouse…

Like siblings, spouses know how to push buttons. They know the worst thing to say at the worst moment to get the worst out of their spouse. It’s so easy to do. Instead, take time to bring out the best in your husband or wife. Just make a decision to say the best thing at the best time to get the best out of your spouse and watch the magic happen.

#11. Be proud of each other.

Responding positively to each other’s good news will mean everything and show you care.

Let them know when you’ve been talking about them positively and allow your spouse to overhear you talking about them proudly – it’s a reinforcement that you’re their biggest cheerleader.

#12. Do your thing…

Be happy doing your own thing and having your own interests. Being passionate about something that the other person has no idea about, is absolutely fine!

It allows you both to have your own space and it means that you’ll always have stuff to talk about with enthusiasm and energy. 

#13. Get active…

Go for walks together, be active and try to find new ways to stay active as a couple, whether it’s hitting the tennis courts or cycle trails.

#14. Make it about the little things…

You don’t have to anything extravagant to show you care. Walking the dog together, eating at the dinner table together, remembering special dates and places, meaningful gestures and making an effort for each other goes a long way. Cherish the little things.

 

What about you? Do you have any good tips for staying together? Any of the above that you disagree with? Tell me.

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